Heroin and The Heroine
by samarahA
Summary: Alice Holmes found family in Amelia Shepherd at 14 in a rehab center in California. What happens, six years later after they've lost contact, when she finds herself sick, when they meet again at Grey-Sloan Memorial?
1. Chapter 1

Alice Holmes was unlike most foster children. Her parents died at the age of fourteen, leaving her an orphan. She was raised in a good home, with loving parents, and a loving brother, although he did struggle with drug addiction. She went to a good school, had good friends, got good grades. She was a good kid, is a good kid, because she was raised in a good home. But a fatal plane crash crushed her and her brothers spirit, it left their parents Elena and Atticus, dead. On a business trip to Sweden, the parents were supposed to arrive home that night, relieving Alice's brother, Jaxon from his duty of watching his little sister. What they were greeted with the next morning, as you can guess, was not their parents. Alice awoke to banging on the front door. She assumed that her parents were upset, maybe they were locked out, regardless she skipped out of her room with excitement and opened the door, but all that excitement ran away when the people on the other side weren't her parents. Police. A police man, and a woman dressed business casual stood next to him solemnly. "Are you Alice Holmes?"

That day would forever be the worst day of her life. She was sent to foster care that night, a 'wonderful family' her social worker promised. What she was greeted with was not a 'wonderful family' let alone a family. Mrs. Jones was 45, drunk, drugged, and fat. She smelled of booze and marijuana and her arms were scarred with needle marks, her hair was greased, and her teeth were rotting out of her head. She was disgusting, and that's what Alice was left with. The family aspect was the abundance of foster children that were living there. Alice would never forget them. Justin, he was the oldest of them, seventeen. Rowen, frail and broken, she was twelve. Hunter, only six. And the smallest of them, Justice, only three. They were in one room, and Alice silently cried herself to sleep on her space on a cot on the dusty trash ridden floor. Jaxon, although old enough to be her guardian had ruined any chance of that ever happening when he started drugs at ninenteen. Three years before his parents died. The courts ruled him an unfit guardian and Alice rarely saw him. Mrs. Jones loved to abuse her children, and her favorite tactic was to shoot them up with heroin and watch them get high, then take it all away and watch as they began jonesing for more. Alice in particular was going crazy without it, and went to find more out in the streets. In one year she sold her body to twenty men for drugs, until someone found her in the streets half dead. The foster mother was arrested and prosecuted and the children were separated into different homes, but Alice? Alice was sent to rehab. She was told that all the youth centers were full, but she was an emergent case and she'd be taken into an adult center. She didn't care. She wanted it to stop, and if that's what it took then oh well.

So there Alice was. Laying in the detox room of Riverside Rehabilitation Center, crying into her hands as she itched and scratched at her skin. She'd felt as though she'd been dropped into a pit of snakes and spiders and scorpions, and she didn't want to open her eyes, she didn't want to see them and know it was real. Because when she did she screamed.

 _"Hey, hey," she heard from next to her._

 _Alice continued to scrape away skin violently, flailing back and forth. "No no no no!"_

 _"Hey, sweetie. Hey. What's your name?"_

 _Alice cried, looking towards the dark haired woman with sunken in eyes. "Alice."_

 _"Alice, honey, you're alright."_

 _"There's bugs everywhere!" She screeched, trying to use the blanket to rid the 'bugs' from her skin. "Everywhere everywhere everywhere."_

 _"Alice, there's no bugs. I'm a doctor, okay?" She took a heavy breath, scratching her own skin. "Sweetie it's the drugs leaving your system. Your nerves are itching for more of the drugs we've been shooting into our system, okay? It's not real, it's not real."_

 _"It is! It is!" Alice sobbed. "I want my mommy."_

 _"So do I." She muttered under a hushed voice. "Honey look at me." She said. "Look at me."_

 _Alice did._

 _"Do you see any bugs?"_

 _"N-No..."_

 _"Let's make a deal alright? If I see any real bugs on you, I'll call the nurse. And if you see any real bugs on me you do the same. That way we'll be safe. Okay?"_

 _Alice sniffled, lying down on her bed, shaking. "O-Okay..."_

 _She held out her hand for Alice to grab and she did. "My name is Amelia. Amelia Shepherd."_

 _"Holmes." Alice muttered. "My last name is Holmes..."_

 _"How old are you, hon?" Amelia asked softly, rubbing her leg._

 _"F-Fourteen." Alice bit hard on her bottom lip, trying to concentration on that pain rather than the pain searing through her skin. She wanted to itch, needed to itch._

 _"You're so..."_

 _"Little." Alice hugged her knees to her chest, tears still spilling over her cheeks. "All the-the youth rehabs were-were full. They could't...couldn't take me."_

 _"So little to do this to yourself." Amelia muttered._

 _"I didn't." Alice spat. "Don't ever accuse me of that! I'm not like the rest of you. I didn't do this to myself!"_

 _Amelia was taken aback, and decided not to speak again._

 _Alice ripped her hand from Amelia's and thrashed to turn away from her. She hadn't meant to come across so nasty, but it was the truth. This was done to Alice, Alice didn't do this._

* * *

 _Amelia and Alice sat awake late in the night. Another symptom popped up for Alice. She was vomiting her guts out every other hour, each time she cried. Amelia tried to ignore it until she heard Alice whimper and Amelia felt a wave of pity wash over her. She sat up in her bed. "Are you okay?"_

 _"No." Alice blubbered. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm keeping you awake."_

 _"Don't be sorry." Amelia mumbled. "Do you need anything? Should I get the nurse?"_

 _Alice shook her head, moving the puke basket to the table next to her. "No. Please don't...I'm just so cold. So cold..."_

 _Amelia sat up from her bed slowly and inched her way over to Alice's in the dark. "Do you want a hug? Human to human physical interaction radiates a lot of heat."_

 _Alice sniffled. "O-Okay."_

 _So Amelia and Alice sat with each other in Alice's bed, Alice snuggled up against Amelia, a feeling she'd been longing for when she found out her mom was dead._

 _"What did you mean when you said you didn't do this to yourself, Alice?"_

 _"My mom and dad died a few months ago." Alice muttered. "I was put into foster care. My...foster parent, she um. She'd shoot me up with heroin, to watch me get high and beg for more. She, uh, she couldn't give me more. She'd use it for herself, and I was detoxing and it hurt so much. I felt the bugs, and the puking and the fevers, and the sweats. It was bad. I'd...go to the streets to get it. I wasn't addicted by choice. I...couldn't help it. I couldn't do it. I needed it. I needed the drugs."_

 _Amelia's heart broke for the girl and she shakily caressed the girls oily hair. "I am so sorry, Alice. That's horrible. G-d that's horrible."_

 _"I didn't mean anything bad when I said I'm not like you...I don't even know you...you don't seem like a bad person." Alice began to shake again, she curled into a ball._

 _"I've done some bad things, Alice." Amelia sighed, she was freezing as well, but the warmth from each other helped. "But I'm not a bad person. At least I don't think I am, and neither are you. You're right, Alice. You aren't like me."_

 _"What did you do?" Alice asked, her voice small._

 _"Well...I've hurt a lot of people since I was pretty young, only a little older than you." and Amelia began to share her story._

* * *

 _"Hi, hi." Alice smiled._

 _It had been a couple weeks, and they were both past their detoxing stage, and were now roommates in the small room they shared. Amelia was snuggled against a chair outside with a blanket. She looked up towards Alice and smiled back at her. "Hi."_

 _"Anyone sitting here?" She raised a brow, pulling the neck from her sweater further from her, she pulled out a candy bar and began unwrapping it._

 _"Only if I can have one of those." Amelia responded._

 _Alice flung a bar at her and sat next to her, pulling her legs closer to her chest._

 _Suddenly, a woman came up behind the two. "Amelia, you have a visitor. Sheldon? He said he'd like to talk to you."_

 _Alice wiggled her eyebrows at Amelia, munching on the thick bar. Amelia looked towards Alice, and a breath faltered. She looked back towards the woman. "Can you just...tell him I'm busy?"_

 _"Of course." She smiled, and turned the other way._

 _"Busy?" Alice snorted. "Last time I checked, you were eating a candy bar with a fourteen year old girl."_

 _"I...said things." Amelia began to unwrap her bar._

 _"He's your friend, and he came to see you, so obviously he doesn't care about what you said. You need your friends in a time like this." Alice said. "I lost my friends. My brother wouldn't step a thousand feet near a rehab center."_

 _"You're my friend." Amelia nudged Alice with a smile._

 _"May I remind you again, I'm fourteen." Alice gave her wide eyes._

 _Amelia shrugged. "So what?"_

 _Alice sighed. "Whatever. Do as you wish, I guess. You'll need to talk to him at some point, though."_

 _"Yeah...that some point isn't now." Amelia muttered._

 _Alice took another bite of her candy, and there was silence between the two of them, other than small pops of Alice's knuckles._

* * *

 _"I don't want to go." Alice cried softly against Amelia's shoulder. "I don't want to leave you."_

 _"I promise that we wont lose touch, Ally." Amelia mumbled, gently caressing the girls cheek. "I want you to go and live with the nice family that I hope you get next. And when I get out of here, I promise I'll come looking for you. I'll see what I can do."_

 _"What if they make me shoot up?" Alice wiped her tears. 'What if I have to come back again?"_

 _"I'll be here." Amelia mumbled, moving her hands to the girls shoulders. "I'll be here. I'll help you through detox. And when I get out, I'll wait for you. It'll be easier if I can wait for you. Okay?"_

 _Alice nodded, rubbing her eyes. "Promise?"_

 _"I promise."_

 _Amelia kissed the girls forehead and the social worker honked her horn. "I promise I will come find you."_

 _Alice extended her suitcases handle. "I...love you."_

 _"I love you too. You're family, Ally." Amelia pursed her lips to keep the tears in. "You're family."_

 _Alice disappeared from view as she got into the black sedan, and the social worker put her suit case into the trunk. That wasn't the last time Amelia would see Alice at Riverside Rehab._

* * *

 _"I told you, Ally." Amelia smiled at her, pushing a strand of black hair behind her ear. "This is easier."_

 _Alice licked the inside of her cheek angrily. "I hate this. We're being split up, twice."_

 _"And when your time is up, I'll be the first person you see." Amelia said matter of factly. "And after that, we'll figure things out. You got me? I've spoken to Nancy already." Nancy was Alice's social worker._

 _Alice sighed, her face softening. "Fine."_

 _And again, Amelia kissed her forehead._

 _Little did Alice know, Nancy had refused Amelia's pleas. And Nancy sent Alice away to another foster home. They lost contact a year after their meeting, but Alice never forgot what Amelia told her. That she was family._

* * *

 **Alright so basically, this may be slightly confusing for those who haven't watched Private Practice. In season five, Amelia is sent to rehab where she meets Hailey, an 18 year old drug addict. To be honest, I felt like they could have used that relationship and it could have been something great in Amelia's life, but then again that's just me. So I wanted to continue it, just not with that character, so I kinda re-created Hailey. Anyways, this is just flashbacks to how they met, and their relationship, so the next chapters will be present day. Thanks. :)**

 **-Sam**


	2. Chapter 2

Alice hated hospitals. They scared her to the point of panic attacks, and break downs. But she'd gone three weeks without one, and things were getting serious, and quite frankly, scary. Entering Grey-Sloan was work on her part, and finding the fifth floor was even more difficult for her. The entire place smelled of sterile alcohol and sickness and it made her shiver, leaving a layer of goosebumps on her skin. She hugged her small frame tightly, and the elevator binged. She took a shaky breath as she stepped off and looked around, her ink black hair whipping around with every movement. She began to chew on her lip as she walked up the hallway. Patients rooms, she gulped, and looked straight forward. Doctors passed, on the phone or talking to other doctors. Nurses walked in and out of rooms, holding blankets or tablets. But they weren't who Alice was looking for. She continued down the hallway, making a turn. She went on like this for awhile, until she was about to just give up and go ask someone for her office but of course, things don't always pan out that way. She stopped in her track, her mouth gaped open as she looked ahead of her. It was Amelia, garbed in navy blue scrubs, and her lab coat over top. Her hair was significantly shorter, and she'd dyed it a lighter brown color, blond highlightes accentuated her roots. She was looking down at her tablet, giving orders. Alongside her were what Alice assumed were doctors, wearing light blue scrubs, listening intently to every word the woman vocalized.

Alice didn't know what to do, or what to say. She just stared in shock. It had been five years since she last layed eyes on Amelia, the woman she dared call family. It had been five years, and it was so nice to know what she'd amounted to in the time it took Alice to get out of the foster system and stay away from any drugs forced down her throat. Her eyes watered and she supposed that the intense staring was making the two doctors next to Amelia uncomfortable. The light haired brunette tugged Amelia's sleeve lightly. She looked up at her, raising her eyebrows, and then the brunette pointed in the direction of Alice. Alice's breath hitched. Amelia stopped in her tracks and looked ahead of her. For a moment she was unsure of who was in front of her. After all, it had been five years. Alice had aged. She was no longer the lanky fourteen year old with sunken in eyes, and noticeable ribs poking out. She was nineteen. She was nineteen years old, soon to be twenty. She'd matured. Her face fuller, curves adorned her body. She was no longer fourteen. It took Amelia all of one minute to place the girls face, and her jaw was open, alongside Alice's.

"Amelia." Alice muttered.

They were twenty feet apart for the first time in five years.

The two began to walk towards each other, and then Alice began with a ran and collapsed into Amelia's arms. A sob escaped her chapped lips.

"Alice. Jesus Christ." Amelia breathed. "Oh my G-d. Oh my G-d, Alice."

Alice just continued to cry into Amelia's shoulder, staining the blue an almost black. "M-Mia."

"You listen to me. You hear me, alright?" Amelia said shakily. "I tried. I tried for an entire year to foster you, Alice, I need you to know that. Nancy turned me down at every turn. She forced me to lose contact with you. She threatened a restraining order. I'm sorry, Ally. G-d I'm so sorry."

"Nancy is a bitch." Alice spat.

"Language." Amelia mumbled, forgetting the girls age.

Alice didn't care. "She dropped me at sixteen. She was neglecting her duties as a social worker...and...and..." More sobs.

"Okay, okay." Amelia shooshed, patting the girls hair as though it was so natural.

Alice held on tighter. "Mia I'm sick."

"What do you mean?" Amelia's heart began to race against Alice's chest.

She stepped away, wiping her tears vigorously. "I don't know what it means. I don't know what I mean...I'm sick."

"Give me an idea, Alice." Amelia said, taking her face in her palms. "Is it the flu, or are you dying?"

Alice's bottom lip quivered. "Seizures. All the time. Five times a day."

"For how long?" Breath escaped Amelia's lungs all at once.

"Three weeks." She muttered. "I've been searching for you for years but...but you popped up when I was searching for neurological doctors, and I...I knew I had to come."

"Seizures."

Alice nodded. "Yeah. Seizures." Her amber eyes were still full of tears and they spilled over her cheeks slowly.

Amelia wiped the girls cheeks with her thumbs and felt her eyes tear up herself. "We'll get you fixed up, Ally. I'll get you fixed up. Like before."

Alice exhaled slowly before pulling her friend in for another hug. "I missed you."

"I missed you more, Al." Amelia muttered against her head.

Alice was almost half a foot shorter than Amelia, and almost twenty pounds lighter. She was small for her age, she always had been. She was a late bloomer in everything in life, and it always bothered her. Before her parents died she was teased in school for being 'Mrs. Pancake'. She didn't wear bras at fourteen seeing as there wasn't a need, and her hips were about as straight as a slim jim and it always bothered her, because she wasn't like her friends, and the constant shoving of drugs into her system delayed any growth for years. She was sixteen by the time she bought her first A cup bra, and it was the happiest day of her life. But now? Now she still looked little. Maybe not twelve any longer, but little, and she still hated it.

"I'm sorry I didn't try harder to find you." Alice sighed. "But...but you're gonna be real proud of me."

"I already am." Amelia chuckled, pulling away but keeping the girl close to her. "I already am."

"Three years sober." A small smile appeared on Alice's lips. "I got myself to a point where I refused anything I was given, no matter how bad I wanted it. Even when I was with my brother."

"Your brother?" She raised a brow. "Why were you with Jaxon?"

"After the foster system kicked me out, I didn't have anywhere to go, and Jax said that he was sober. I didn't have anyone, Mia. I had to. I moved in with him, and he was sober. He had a job, payed the rent...but..." Alice began to crack her knuckles.

"Hey." Amelia muttered, grabbing the girls hands in her own. "I get it's a coping thing, but it's super unhealthy."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Anyway. I brought up our parents to him one day and...he snapped. Beat me bloody, and um...he left that night and came back higher than a kite. I found him dead in his bedroom the next morning."

"G-d, Ally." Amelia sighed, rubbing her thumbs over Alice's hands. "That's horrible. I am so sorry."

"It's okay." Alice shrugged. "I'm okay now. How about you? Did you..."

"No." Amelia smiled, shaking her head. "We pulled through together, Ally. You and me."

Alice smiled. "Good. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you at work, I didn't know how else to get to you."

"You never bother me, Al." Amelia said. "You could never bother me. I'm so happy you came to find me. I tried, Al. You tried. It was meant to be. But I am so happy you're here now, although I wish it could be under better circumstances. We'll walk, and you'll tell me about these seizures you're getting."

Alice turned round and Amelia wrapped her shoulder around her, pulling her close.

Alice took in a deep breath. "Well...usually they're nothing to worry about. I only realize what's happening because I'm with my friends. Suddenly I'll stop talking, and I'll stare into space really hard, and blink really fast and really hard for a few minutes and I'll return back as though nothing happened. That happens a lot during the day, and it really freaks my friends out. One of them's majoring in medicine, he said it's a type of seizure. That scared me. Then...the night before last I had something really unsettling happen to me."

"What happened?" Amelia asked softly.

"I...collapsed. I guess I was shaking violently...and...I had an accident." Alice said, ashamed. "That happened in the grocery store, and they called the ambulance. They'd said I had a grand-mal seizure, but they couldn't figure out why. I discharged myself, and I looked up the best, and you were the best."

"It wasn't your fault, Ally. Don't be embarrassed about it. I think I want to do some testing, okay? It could be something simple. But it's better to check."

"To make sure I don't have a tumor." Alice looked down at the floor.

"Right." Amelia said. "I doubt it, though. You haven't had any other symptoms of a brain tumor, at least not that you've told me."

"Also," Alice interjected, "I've been really sensitive to flashing lights. Does that mean anything?"

Amelia raised an eyebrow. "Like...are your seizures directly after you see a flashing light?"

"Usually." Alice nodded. "What's that mean?"

"How about sounds? Do certain sounds set you off too?" Amelia asked.

"Yeah." Alice furrowed her eyebrows. "How did you know that?"

"I think I just figured out what's wrong with you." Amelia responded.

* * *

"You think this'll help?" Alice raised a brow at Amelia whom was attaching wires to her forehead.

"Yes." Amelia crossed her arms. "I do. It's called an EEG, Al. It'll tell us exactly what's going on, what type of seizure you're having, how bad it is. But I will need to set it off. I need you to prepare yourself for that."

Alice took a deep breath and gave a light nod. "Okay."

Amelia took out her flashlight pen and put it in front of her face before turning off the light. She then proceeded to click it off and on in a rapid motion.

"This is stu-" then, Alice lost consciousness.

* * *

"Alice," Amelia said, waving a hand in front of her face. "Alice are you with me?"

"Mm." Alice smacked her lips together a couple time, trying to get her mouth salivated again. "Yeah."

"Okay. You just had a seizure. Do you know where you are?" Amelia hadn't stopped doing the stupid waving thing and Alice slapped her hand away.

"I don't have amnesia, Amelia."

Amelia rolled her eyes. "No freaking duh. I have to make sure, protocol."

"Right. Okay. Can you get these things off of my head, now?" Alice raised a brow.

"Yes." Amelia responded, tearing one off.

"Ow!" Alice screamed. "Could you be gentle?"

"Sorry." Amelia said sarcastically. "You did hit me."

"I'm sorry." Alice stuck her tongue out.

"Such a child." Amelia said jokingly.

"You used to be, too." Alice reminded. "You're so...mature. The last time I saw you, you were twenty something, and you looked nineteen. Now, you're like thirty, and you look it."

"Right. Because that's not insulting whatsoever." Amelia said.

"Sorry. You look great, Mia. You're gorgeous, really, unlike me." Alice sighed. "I look ten."

"You do not look ten, Ally." Amelia said, removing the rest of the stickers. "You look a little younger than twenty, but not ten...not anymore anyways."

Alice groaned. "Don't even remind me."

Amelia chuckled, "What? That you didn't even have boobs at fourteen?"

Alice glared at her. "You're not cute."

"I never claimed to be, and I was just joking around." Amelia nudged her shoulder. "Hate to break it to you, kid, but you're striking. I'm shocked you don't have a boyfriend."

"Hard to have a boyfriend when you're pissing your pants in a grocery store." Alice grumbled.

Amelia's face softened and she rubbed the teens back. "I'm sorry, Al."

"Don't worry 'bout it." She shrugged, getting up from the chair. "Doesn't matter."

"Who are you staying with?" Amelia asked as she gathered the test results in her hands.

"Eheh..." Alice nervously rubbed the nape of her neck. "Well...no one?"

"What?" Amelia asked.

"I'm. Well. I had been crashing at my friends place but she still lives with her parents and I was just taking up space they didn't have...so I've kinda been sleeping here and there."

"What does here and there mean Alice Holmes?" Amelia asked seriously.

"Well..." Alice groaned. "Usually anywhere I wont get caught."

"You're sleeping on the streets!?" Amelia practically yelled.

"I don't have much of a choice, Mia. I have no income, and my brother's dead, and my friends don't have the room." Alice responded, her voice getting smaller. "I can't do anything about it."

"You always have a place with me." Amelia said. "Always. And that's exactly where you're going tonight. You'll be living with me until futher notice, okay?"

"But-"

"No but's, and's, or if's about it. Got it?" Amelia raised a brow.

"Got it." Alice muttered.

"Now come on, kid." Amelia sent her a smile. "Let's hand these off to a resident to study and get the results back while me and you go eat some well deserved lunch, and talk about our lives."

"Okay." Alice gave a small laugh and the two walked on together.


	3. Chapter 3

Amelia and Alice were noshing on nasty hospital food when they were interrupted.

"Uh, Dr. Shepherd?"

Amelia looked up with raised eyebrows.

It was Dr. DeLuca, with his perfectly formed hair and all. He had a file in his hands. "I have those test results back for...Alice Holmes."

"That's me." Alice mentioned, taking the file from him.

"Hey-"

"It's her brain." Amelia raised a brow at him.

"Yeah. It's my brain." Alice smiled at Amelia slyly before opening the file. "Mia, translate this to English for me."

Amelia looked over the teens shoulder, she read for awhile before pursing her lips. "I was right...Epilepsy."

DeLuca scratched the nape of his neck awkwardly. "It's not so bad. It can be easily controlled under the right medication and diet."

Alice chewed on her bottom lip. "I don't have medical insurance, Amelia. I can't pay for the prescriptions. I don't have money."

Amelia rubbed the girls back lovingly. "Don't you worry your head, Ally. I'll take care of you. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Alice sighed, rubbing her forehead.

Amelia took her prescription pad out of her front pocket and began scribbling on the front. She handed it to Alice, who raised her eyebrows. "Zarontin..."

"DeLuca, can you stick this file on my desk?" Amelia handed the beige file back to the intern. "I'm going to be pretty busy for the rest of the day."

"Uh..." He sighed, taking it from her. "Fine. But you're making me late for a surgery."

"Intern talking to an attending like that?" Alice said. "How are you not fired?"

"And who are you?" DeLuca asked irritably.

"A friend." Alice responded.

"You're what? Sixteen?" He raised a brow.

Alice scoffed. "Actually, I'm about to turn twenty, dip shit."

"Ally." Amelia gave her a look.

"What!? I'm not a baby." She grumbled.

"I'd say otherwise." DeLuca mumbled.

"Why are you being so douchey today?" Amelia asked the intern.

"Tough night." He said before walking away with a pace.

Amelia and Alice made eyecontact before breaking out in giggles.

"Oh my G-d." Amelia laughed harder.

"What?" Alice asked.

"I totally forgot-" Amelia took a deep breath before laughing again. "I totally forgot about your laugh."

Alice's cheeks blushed a fire engine red and she crossed her arms.

When Alice was a baby, her imbecilic cord was choking her, and it caused some damage to her vocal chords, causing her laugh to sound that of a babies. She honestly forgot about it most days, but whenever she laughed it caused everyone else to die of laughter and it was honestly so irritating. It especially didn't help with the whole 'Alice is a baby' connotation she had going for her.

"It's cute, Al." Amelia wiped tears from her eyes. "Don't be ashamed."

"Whatever." She grumbled.

"Hey," Amelia looked down at her watch, "do you want to go home? We can fill the script and get you settled in in the guest room."

"Sounds lovely, Mia." Alice responded.

Amelia stood on both feet, lending a hand to her friend. Alice smiled at her and took Amelia's hand in her own, and they began walking.

* * *

Amelia's home was cozy, but what was even cozier, was the massive guest bedroom bed that Alice was dying to sleep on. She'd been sleeping on the ground for the past five days, and five days is a long time. At least long enough to forget what a nice bed feels like, anyway. Amelia went to get changed into something comfier, and came back with a change of clothes for Alice. It consisted of leggings and a t-shirt, and Alice was happy with that.

"Thanks." She said before laying the clothes out on the bed.

"No prob." Amelia responded, flopping on the bed next to her.

Alice stood and removed her shirt, taking the new one in her hands and opening it up.

"Hey," Amelia stared at the girls ribs.

There was a massive bruise covering five of the girls ribs, colors of purple blue and yellow. It looked painful, and it was. "What?"

"What the hell happened, Alice?" Amelia got on her knees, shifting to study the bruise.

"Nothing." She insisted, throwing the shirt over her head. "I'm fine."

Amelia glared at the younger brunette before lifting the shirt again, pointing at the bruise. "That is not nothing, Alice."

"Yes, it is." She shoved her shirt back down. "Please leave it alone, Mia."

Amelia shifted her jaw and took a deep breath. "Did someone do that to you?"

"Amelia." Alice said sternly. "Stop."

The woman huffed, falling back into a sitting position. "Fine."

Alice started with the leggings and Amelia got all riled up again. 60% of Alice was black and blue, and Amelia was not happy. "Okay Alice no more. Stop it. What the fuck happened to you."

Alice sat next to Amelia and exhaled deeply. "Promise you're not going to overreact?"

"I promise." Amelia said softly, facing her.

"I had a boyfriend for awhile." She muttered. "He...was controlling, could be violent. These aren't recent. I promise. They're a week and some odd days old...they're gonna start fading soon. I left him, Mia, I promise."

Amelia's face softened and she pulled the girl close to her. "What asshole put his hands on you?"

"No one you need to worry about." Alice responded. "I left him behind in California. Really. Please, Amelia, I swear I'm fine."

Although Amelia didn't like it, she knew she'd have to let it go, or the younger brunette would close off and refuse to talk to her. She didn't like talking about her feelings, or things that were painful. It made her cry. Alice was a sensitive soul, and easly manipulated, even though she didn't like to hear it. It was a problem she'd always had, and it wasn't something she grew out of, and Amelia knew she was skating on thin ice. "Okay. You're fine."

"Thank you." Alice smiled lightly at her, sitting back up. "Now, I'm hungry, that hospital food was total crap. Can you make real food?"

"Sure. I need to start dinner anyways, my husband will be home soon."

"Husband?" Alice gasped, smirking. "Amelia Shepherd got herself a boy toy."

"You're disgusting." Amelia shoved her friend, laughing.

"I'm not disgusting." Alice laughed, shoving her back. "You, are disgusting. Is he cute?"

"Of course he's cute, I haven't lowered my standards." Amelia winked at her before walking out of the room.

Alice followed quickly. "How's the sex?"

Amelia gave her wide eyes. "Alice Holmes."

"What? Amelia I'm twenty. I've had sex before. So how is it?"

"Jesus Christ." Amelia groaned, making her way to the kitchen.

"Okay. Whatever. Ignore me." Alice shut her mouth.

Amelia sighed. "It's fantastic."

The grin returned to Alice's face. "Ha! I knew it. Good job, Mia."

"Right, and I'm the disgusting one." Amelia joked, grabbing for a pot.

Alice smiled. She missed joking with Amelia, the only person she could really talk to. Amelia understood her like no one else, and she wanted to tell her the truth behind the bruises, but it was too much at once. It could wait.


	4. Chapter 4

Owen had come home, and Alice despite being shy found herself enjoying his company. He was a pretty nice guy, so she thought. Amelia had made pasta, Alice's favorite, and the nineteen year old was scarfing it down as though it was going to run away.

"This house is pretty big." Alice commented, her eyes running over the large kitchen.

"It is." Amelia agreed. "What are you getting at?"

Alice smirked, Amelia always knew when there was an ulterior motive. "I guess I just expected you to be the one to have tons of kids."

Owen inhaled sharply as he dropped his fork on the plate, and Amelia tensed. Alice raised a brow, not exactly what she was expecting from either of them. She pursed her lips as she shoved her empty plate away a bit. "Sorry...I hit a nerve...didn't I?"

"It's okay." Amelia shook her head a bit. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Alice didn't believe her but nodded anyways. "Okay..."

"Do you want some dessert?" Amelia took the girls plate in her hand, standing up from the table. "We've got cookies."

Alice gasped. "Peanut butter and raisin?"

Amelia gagged. "I don't know how you like such a nasty creation."

"Hey!" Alice crossed her arms. "I don't think it's nasty."

"Sounds nasty." Owen sided with his wife, taking their plates in his hands as well and bringing them to the sink.

"You're both rude. No wonder you got married." Alice rolled her eyes.

Amelia chuckled. "But, I do have chocolate chip. Will that suffice?"

"It'll have to. I've got room for anything that contains sugar." Alice hopped up from the table and traveled towards the counter, taking a cookie from the container they were in. "You made them?"

Amelia motioned towards Owen. 'He did."

The teen raised a brow as she put the cookie in her mouth. Her eyes widened as she chewed. "Oh. My. G-d. I'm in a literal heaven."

Amelia laughed.

"Why thank you." Owen smiled.

"No wonder you like him." Alice groaned as she took another bite. "He can bake, he can cook, he's cute, the sex is good-"

"Alice!" Amelia gasped.

"Oh. Sorry." She patted Owen on the back. "It's not like I insulted you or anything."

Owen smirked at Amelia. "So the sex is good?"

Amelia felt a blush reach her cheeks. "Alice something tells me you're tired."

"Nope, I'm actually pretty aw-"

Amelia took the girls forearm in her palm and dragged her into her guest room.

"Hey, hey!" Alice said as they reached the room. "I'm sorry. It kinda just slipped out."

"No- no not about that." Amelia rolled her eyes, groaning. "I wanted to apologize to you."

Alice's eyebrows furrowed as she went to plop down on the bed. "For what, Mia?"

The older woman sighed as she sat at the foot of the bed. "When you said what you said about kids...you did hit a nerve but...we shouldn't have reacted that way."

"Can I ask why I hit a nerve?" Alice asked softly. "You always told me about how you wanted kids at the rehab center..."

"I just...sometimes, people change." Amelia said, but Alice knew there was something she wasn't telling her. "I'm not who I was five years ago, Ally."

"I know." Alice muttered, scooting towards her. "You can tell me anything. You know that, right?"

"I know." Amelia nodded, smiling at her. "Same goes for you."

It was ironic actually. The same two people who could tell each other anything, were the same two people who were hiding things from one another.

Alice nodded, her eyes adverted quickly. Too quickly, according to Amelia. "And it looks like you need to tell me something, Ally."

"Yeah? So do you, Amelia." Alice said. "I'm not the only one with a secret."

"Sometimes, some skeletons are meant to stay in their closets." Amelia mumbled.

Alice nodded in agreement. "You're right..."

Amelia patted the girls thigh. "I'm gonna go head to bed...I love you, Alice."

"I love you too." Alice smiled, pulling the woman in for a hug.

Amelia hugged back tightly. "Goodnight."

"Night." Alice responded, and Amelia broke away.

She walked out of the guest room, and to her own, where Owen was waiting patiently by the bed. "Hey." She smiled, walking to her side. "Sorry about that...Alice doesn't have much of a filter."

"That's alright. She's a good kid." Owen smiled. "I can tell she's really attached to you."

"Yeah...kid." Amelia muttered. "It's so hard to look at her now and not think of her as the same fourteen year old little girl from the detox clinic. The look in her eyes when I first saw her was so haunting and...I've only ever seen it disappear once before. She still looks haunted, and you'd think after the system that that's how it'd be. I just wish I did something different Owen. I wish I could have...gone back and changed things."

"You did what you could, Amelia." Owen said. "You tried hard for her."

"Not hard enough." Amelia sighed. "There's things I did...that I can never take back. I made Addison lie to her...I wasn't ready. I wanted to be a mother to her when she got out of rehab and after my baby...I didn't think I could be a mother, Owen."

"So what did you do?" Owen asked.

"I told Addison before I left, that if Alice came looking for me, that she was to say she didn't know about where I was. I was so selfish, so selfish. That girl has suffered for years because of me...she came looking for me Owen. When she was seventeen years old, she came looking for me, and I wasn't there, because I told Addison to tell her I wasn't."

Owen's face softened and he rubbed her back lovingly. "It wasn't your fault, Amelia. You were grieving."

"And I made her life hell." Amelia said. "Whatever...I'm just...thankful she doesn't know. Not yet. I just got her back, I can't hurt her, Owen. She can't know what I did."

"Your secret is safe with me." Owen mumbled.

Amelia smiled before crawling under the sheets. "Can we go to sleep?"

"Of course." He replied, turning the lamp off.

No, Alice hadn't any clue about what Amelia asked of Addison. And Amelia prayed that night that Alice would never find out. And for Alice's sake, everyone else was hoping the same thing.


	5. Chapter 5

Usually Alice would hate being awoken so early and torn off to work so quickly, but today, Alice didn't mind. As long as it meant that Amelia was with her, she was okay with anything. Once at the hospital, Alice followed Amelia around as she watched her do her job. It fascinated her, if she was honest, to watch her friend be so grown up. They'd had a lot of moments together where Amelia was very child-like, and that hadn't changed. Amelia still had the spirit of a kid, but at work she had to be mature and put together, and it was nice to see. Amelia and Alice as of now were walking to find DeLuca, Amelia's intern that she loved to pull around to get her tests tested and given back to her. It made Alice chuckle. The poor kid was on a leash, and he knew it.

"Hey, DeLuca!" Amelia called out, picking up her pace to catch up to him. He was leaning against the hallway eating a bag of chips, and he groaned, knowing what was coming next.

"I just caught a break." He said, mouth full of chips.

"Run these for me." Amelia ignored him, shoving the file into his hand that was slightly salty from the chips. "I need them back, and today."

He sighed. "Fine...I see you brought The Mad Hatter back."

Alice raised an eyebrow. "The Mad Hatter? That's a new one."

"Well," he began, "your name is Alice. And your birth mark looks like a hat."

Alice put her fingertips to her cheek, he wasn't wrong. The brown splotch did indeed look like a top hat, and it always made Alice self conscious, even though most people found it adorable. She hated being adorable, though. She was tired of just being a 'cute kid.' "Right. Of course it does."

Amelia smirked between the two. "I've gotta run...and do a surgery. DeLuca, you can hang out with The Mad Hatter here."

"Mia." Alice muttered.

She smiled, hugging her lightly before running away quickly.

Alice scoffed and made eye contact with the intern. He's gorgeous, she thought. How is a human so beautiful?

"Alright. Follow me to the lab, then." He shrugged, walking ahead.

She followed, and grabbed some chips from his bag.

"Hey," He scoffed.

She shrugged, stuffing them in her mouth. "I don't have manners. Get used to it."

"What, were you raised with a pack of wolves?" He asked, taking some chips in his own hand.

"I," she said, "was partially raised in the system, which is pretty much the same thing..."

DeLuca licked the inside of his cheek. "Oh...sorry."

She shrugged. "Whatever, it's all in the past, isn't it?"

"I guess so...so how did you meet Dr. Shepherd? You two seem really close."

"Long story." She responded. "And it isn't a story I'm going to discuss with you. But we met in California...when I was fourteen. That's why we're so close."

"You're a bit of a closed book, aren't you?" He asked. "Very humble."

"I just don't spill my deepest darkest secret to a total stranger, regardless of how attractive he is."

"You think I'm attractive?" He smirked.

"You'd be blind not to think so." She chuckled lightly. "But that still doesn't change the fact that I think you're kind of douchey."

"Why would you think that?"

"Well you did call me a baby yesterday."

"I said you looked sixteen, not a baby." He rolled his eyes.

"Same thing." Alice rolled her eyes back, mocking him. "I've been told my entire life how little I look. It gets boring, after awhile, DeLooking Good."

He laughed. "Is that my new nickname?"

"Well I sure like it."

"Alright fine...Mad Hatter."

Alice smiled at him, and he smiled back. At the lab, he entered the tests and the two left. "So, Ms. Holmes, how would you like to go eat some lunch with me?"

"That shitty hospital food?" She gagged. "No thank you."

"Of course not." He smiled. "There's a place across the street I like to go to. It's a small little diner, and it's close in case I get a page. What do you say?"

"Are you asking me on a date?" She raised a brow.

"Well if that's what you want to call it, then I guess I am." He responded with a sly smile.

"Okay." Her face matched his. "Fine. I'll go to lunch with you...but first, you need to tell me your first name."

"Andrew." He responded. "My name is Andrew."

"Cute." She laughed. "Doesn't suit you, though."

"Oh really?" He asked. "And what does?"

"DeLooking Good is a much nicer name."

"My mother named me when I was three months along. I doubt she knew that I'd look this good."

"Mothers always know." Alice winked.

Andrew rolled his eyes. "What mother tells their son they're looking good, Alice?"

"I wouldn't know." She shrugged. "How should I? Maybe your mom is a freak."

"Maybe she is." Andrew shrugged back.

"Oh, so you're not going to tell me anything about you either?"

"Well I just told you my name, didn't I?" He laughed.

"Wow." Alice clapped. "What a boat load of information, Andrew. I feel like I really know you now."

"So let's share. I'll tell you something about me, if you tell me something about you."

"Twenty questions?" Alice giggled. "We're not teenagers, Andrew."

He grabbed her hand as he pulled her towards the lobby of the hospital. "No, we aren't, but who says we have to be teenagers to play twenty questions?"

"Every adult on the face of this earth."

"Well, aren't we lucky we're not on the earth's face."

Alice rolled her eyes, pretending to find his sense of humor ridiculous. She actually found it quite cute. She found him cute, actually...

"You're lucky you're cute, Andrew. I don't know how other women stand around you."

"With a fan, because I radiate heat from being so hot." He joked.

Alice laughed and the two set off down to the diner.


	6. Chapter 6

Alice and Andrew sat together in that diner, eating, and talking. Alice making Andrew laugh, and Andrew making sarcastic remarks that would make Alice roll her eyes. They had a good time, because they balanced one another out. It took an hour for Andrew to get paged, and when he did the two of them walked back to the hospital rather speedily. Once there, Alice found Amelia.

"Hey, Mia." She said, sitting next to her on the gurney.

Amelia sighed, rubbing her face. "Hi."

"Are you okay?" Alice asked, placing a hand on her friends back.

"Tough case." She muttered. "How about your date with DeLuca? Have fun?"

Alice blushed. "How'd you know about that?"

"So it was a date?" A smirk pulled at Amelia's lips as she looked up at her friend.

"I didn't say that..." She groaned. "maybe it was a date."

Amelia chuckled, leaning against Alice. "So, how was?"

"Good." She said softly, resting her head against Amelia's. "I had a nice time, the food was decent. I don't know why he thinks it's so good..."

"No one else can either." She joked.

"You sure you're alright?" Alice asked, worry laced in her voice. She wrapped her arm around Amelia, and Amelia nodded.

"I'm okay. I will be. Sometimes...when it comes to kids, it's harder. I don't know how Arizona and Alex do it. How do people become PED's surgeons?"

"Some people can stomach it easier." Alice shrugged. "You aren't able to, which totally means you'll be a helicopter mom."

Amelia tensed when Alice called her mom, and that confused Alice, but she decided not to mention it.

"So." Amelia inhaled sharply. "You wanna head home?"

"Okay, I guess. Isn't it a little early?"

"Early is better than late." Amelia said pointedly.

"Well," Alice smiled, "you aren't wrong."

"It isn't often that I am." Amelia joked, sitting up. "I'll go get dressed, and we'll head out. Okay?"

"Okay." Alice agreed. "Sounds good."

The two friends walked to the attendings lounge together. Alice had said she'd wait outside for her, and so she did. She leaned against the wall, closing her eyes, taking a deep breath. It smelled heavily of antiseptic and she cringed, she hated that smell.

"Well, if it isn't Alice Holmes."

Alice knew that voice. She identified that voice with danger, and pain. She knew that voice because that's the voice that had tormented her for years, and it made her cringe and jump back in fright like he was about to kick her, or punch her, or inflict whatever he wanted, because it wouldn't be the first time he'd done that.

Alice's eyes shot open and she stared at him. She stared at her ex-boyfriend, her eyes tearing up. "Colt. What are you doing here?"

"I told you I'd find you." He smirked an evil smirk, and walked closer to her, grabbing her by the waist.

Alice bit back a sob as she tried to look the other way. But Colt brought her face back to his own, giving her a sloppy kiss and she cried out, pushing him.

"You little bitch." He spat, coming back at her.

"Hey!" Owen. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Stay outta this." Colt slurred. "This is my girl here."

"Sorry, not today." Owen said firmly, grabbing Alice by the arm. "Do you know this man, Alice?"

"Yes." Alice sputtered.

"Who is he?" He asked quietly.

"M-My..." She chewed on her bottom lip. "He's my ex."

"Excuse me?" Colt was getting angry, as usual. "The hell do you mean your 'ex'? I'm your man, Alice, show some respect."

"No woman should have to respect the likes of you." Owen spat. "Stay the fuck away from this girl, or I will personally bash your face into that wall, do you hear me?"

Colt sneered at him.

"I repeat, do you hear me!?" Owen's voice was getting all army-like, making Alice feel safer.

But Alice's ex looked straight at her, inching closer only some. "I will come back to you. And when I do, you'll be begging at my feet."

"That's it-" Owen was ready to swing, but was cut off by Amelia's voice.

"What the hell is going on here?" She asked, pulling her hair out from her shirt.

Alice began to cry as she went over to hug Amelia, and Amelia held her tightly. "Ally, what happened?"

"He-He found me, and I-"

Next thing they knew, Colt was running off. Owen badly wanted to run after him and blow his brains out of his head, but remembered that would send him to prison to decided against him. "Has he ever hurt you, Alice?" Owen asked.

"Who?" Amelia asked. "What happened!?"

"Alice's ex was being quite aggressive with her." Owen put his hands on his hips. "Very obviously domestic violence."

Alice sniffled against Amelia's shoulder. "He did. He did hurt me, but I got out of it, Mia. I swear I got out of it, and we were done and...and I don't know why he's back."

* * *

Sorry for the lack of updates! I've been having some trouble coming up with more ideas for this fic but this just popped in my head, so we should be back on track! :)

-Sam


	7. Chapter 7

Amelia and Owen took a very clearly shaken up Alice back home. She had a few seizures in the living room.

"Ally, are you okay?" Amelia asked, caressing her cheek.

Alice nodded, rubbing her face. "I'm fine. Seriously."

"I meant about your seizure."

"Me too." Alice and her made eye contact.

"What happened today, at the hospital?" Owen asked, coming back with a glass of water for the girl. "Why was he acting so violent?"

"That's just...him." Alice muttered, taking the glass from him. "He can be very violent. How do you think I'm practically completely bruised?"

Amelia clicked her tongue. "Are they getting any better?"

Alice shrugged. "Hard to tell. Some of them are old, some of them are from the last time, so...they will, get better I mean."

"Ally, he did that to you?"

She nodded. "Yes."

Amelia's face softened. "I am so sorry, Alice. That's horrible. Did he force you to stay with him?"

"Thing is...we met in foster care." Alice said. "I was fifteen, he was sixteen. We were foster siblings. It was the first good home I was sent to. Relatively, anyway. We really hit it off, me and him. We...started dating, and he was so sweet. At first. Then, he started showing his true colors around the house, and they booted us. We were split up for a couple months but eventually he found me and...I needed him."

"Why did you feel like you needed him?" Amelia asked.

"I had no one, Mia." Alice looked at her with glossy eyes. "That was the year I lost you. That was the year...we lost contact and I was a mess. I cried all the time, and he wiped away my tears. Maybe he was a manipulator, and he was controlling, but I was fifteen. I was so naive, Mia. I hadn't been raised in the system, I wasn't stony like everyone else. I was soft. I was fragile. I was broken, but he held my pieces and promised to put me back together, and I believed him. Even though I never should have, because he held those pieces for years. It wasn't until recently that I...knew I had to be done. I was getting sick. He was getting meaner, and meaner, and...he wanted...things."

"What did he want?" Owen raised his eyebrows.

Alice shifted uncomfortably. "Sex. All the time. Every night, during the day, it didn't matter. He was high so often than not, and he'd just...come home and that's what he wanted me to do. He wanted me to perform. I couldn't...after awhile. It hurt too much. I'd never had sex before, real sex, you know? The kind of sex that doesn't make you a whore in societies eyes...but he doesn't take things easy. He was rough, and I bled, all the time, and he never cared. And I couldn't handle it anymore. The pain was too intense, and he'd hit me if I didn't say yes. So one night I packed a bag. He caught me trying to go, and...well my bruises are evidence of what happened that night."

Amelia felt her own eyes tear and she opened her arms as an invitation for Alice. The younger girl crawled into them and sat herself down between Amelia's legs and the older woman wrapped her arms around the younger and held her tightly. "He will never hurt you, or violate you, ever again. Do you understand me, Ally? Never again."

"What do we do?" Her voice cracked as she played with a loose string on Amelia's jeans. "What am I supposed to do? He will find me. He always finds me."

"You'll stay with one of us, no matter what. And if we're both in surgery, you'll stay with DeLuca."

"No." Alice said sharply. "Andrew cannot know what I've been through."

"Why not?"

"Because he's normal." Alice said, her chin quivering. "I'm not normal. My parents are dead. I was abused, and that's not normal. But he is normal, he has good parents, and a loving family, and he's never seen the face of abuse. He doesn't need someone like me, broken and..damaged goods."

"You are not damaged goods!?" Amelia said passionately. "You are _not_ damaged goods, Alice Holmes, so shut your mouth. You are a girl, that's been through shit, okay? You've been through a lot of shit. But you deserve normal as much as anyone else, and he will understand. He is a good guy, trust me. He is a good person, and he will accept your abnormal with all of his normal."

Tears began spilling over Alice's cheeks and she began to cry. Amelia sighed, pressing Alice's head to her chest, and Alice cried into her.

Owen and Amelia shared eye contact with a solemn look in their eyes.

"Mia?" Alice asked softly.

"Yes?"

"I love you." She muttered.

"I love you too." Amelia kissed the girls head. "Do you want to go take a shower?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay. You go ahead."

Alice sat up, wiping her cheeks. She walked away.

"What do we do, Owen?" Amelia asked once the girl was gone. "That guy is dangerous to her mental and physical health."

"We get a restraining order." Owen responded. "That's what it takes, it's what we do."

"Okay." Amelia nodded.

"Stop blaming yourself." Owen shifted so that he was closer to his wife. "This isn't your fault. It isn't your fault you lost contact. You did try, Amelia, regardless if you stopped. You tried for a long time."

Amelia rubbed her legs before standing on both feet. "Yeah. I need to start on dinner...she'll be hungry when she comes out."

Owen sighed as he watched his wife walk into the kitchen, a pained look on her face.


	8. Chapter 8

Alice had forgotten what it felt like to sleep soundly. She twisted and turned most nights, and awoke in intrevals. She'd have nightmares, but none she couldn't handle herself. Usually, that was. This night was different from most. She was twisting and turning in bed, her body was coated in a layer of sweat that dripped down her skin, and soaked the sheets beneath her. She thrashed and moaned and groaned, a scream brewing in her throat. Eventually it got bad enough to where she'd wet herself, and she let out a mighty yelp. She sat up in bed, breathing heavily, sobs escaping her lips. She was trembling terribly when the door shot open and Owen and Amelia spilled in, Amelia tried to come to comfort her but Alice shoved her way and in between her sobs she yelled for them to get out.

"Ally, you're okay." Amelia said softly. "You're fine, sweetie, it's okay."

"No, please," She cried. "please leave. I don't want you to see me like this."

"Like what?" Amelia breathed, sitting beside the girl and pulling her blankets back. Her eyes widened in surprise and she pulled the blanket back over. "Owen. Can you go ahead and maybe make some hot chocolate for her?"

He nodded. "Sure." With that he left.

Alice cried into her palms sheepishly. "Go. Go with him, please."

"Alice, listen to me." Amelia muttered softly, taking the blankets off once more and switching the lights on. "There is nothing to be embarrassed about. You had a night terror. This happens when you become terrified of an event replaying in your mind. It's normal. It's okay. You are not in trouble, and I am not judging you."

She wiped her cheeks repeatedly, trying to sunt the spillage of tears. "I'm not a baby anymore. I shouldn't still be doing this. It isn't normal."

Amelia helped the girl sit up and began to strip the bed of its sheets. "You're a grown woman, and this doesn't make you a baby. It makes you human, and guess what?"

"What?" Alice muttered.

"When I found out my brother died, I had nightmares too. Terrible nightmares I couldn't wake up from, and you want to know something? At thirty years old, I'd pissed myself too. I woke up in a puddle of it, and it didn't make me a child, it made me human. We are human. You are human. This is not something to be ashamed of, are we clear?"

Alice nodded, her lips pursed. "Yes."

She bundled the blankets in a ball. "I'll go throw this in the washer. You go ahead and run a bath, okay? I'll be there soon."

Alice blushed profusely and found herself in the bathroom rather speedily. She began to run the hot water and undressed quickly, peeling off the soaked through clothes. She felt tears rise in her eyes again. She'd heard Amelia and her attempt to make her feel better about the situation, but it didn't help at all. She still couldn't stand the fact that she'd just done that. She stood beside the bath, and her legs began to tremble at the thought of her nightmare.

Amelia quickly reentered the bathroom, and her face softened at the sight of the younger woman. "Ally."

Alice began to cry again so Amelia wrapped her arms around the girl and held her close to her. "It's okay, Al. You're okay now. It was just a nightmare, babe."

Alice wrapped her arms around Amelia tightly. "He was on me, raping me. Shoving himself inside me...I was back there again and I couldn't get away, Mia."

"I know." The older woman kissed her friends forehead, wiping away her tears. "I'm sorry, bub. I'm sorry."

When Alice began to settle she pulled away from Amelia and exhaled shakily. "I'm okay. If you want to go back to bed."

"No." Amelia shook her head. "I'll stay right here. I know you don't want to be alone."

Alice nodded, stepping into the tub, and lowering herself slowly. She looked over her bruises, and they were healing nicely. She just wished they'd disappear. Amelia sat beside her and rubbed her back lightly, they were silent, but they were comfortable in their silence. 


	9. Chapter 9

Alice never usually had problems staying home alone. In fact, it brought her a sense of peace. The quiet surrounded her, and allowed her to relax to be on her own and do as she pleased. So when Amelia offered her to stay home, she happily agreed. Owen and Amelia were swamped with surgeries, meaning that could end up leaving Alice on her own which was an unsafe thing for her considering her ex was out for blood. She refused to ask for DeLuca's help, so that meant one thing. Not to leave the house. So Alice lounged around the house all day, picking at snacks in the kitchen and watching whatever was on TV. But what she enjoyed most was reading Amelia's books. The two loved reading, and in the clinic it was one of their favorite pass times that they did together, although Alice would always giggle at the fact that Amelia loved romance novels. Alice didn't see the point of them, and didn't like to read them, seeing as her favorite genre of books had to be horror or mystery. But, as usual, Amelia didn't have those. And Owen's books were mostly medical journals and military men biographies. She couldn't help but say to herself, 'Of course.'

But, she was a good sport, and tried out one of Amelia's books. On the cover posed a shirtless man with a toned six pack, a girl hung off the side of him. So far, nothing exciting had happened. Go figure...

Suddenly, Alice heard the home phone ring. Her eyebrows furrowed as she hopped off the couch quickly and ran over to the phone. She lifted it to her phone. "Hunt and Shepherd residence, how can I help you?"

She heard breathing on the other side of the line, but no voice attached to it. She sighed. "Hello? Hola? Bonjour?...I'm running out of languages here."

Then, the line went dead. She set the phone back down without another thought. She wondered why anyone would call just to say nothing, but what had been the point of worrying about it? She decided she'd pop a bag of popcorn and maybe watch a movie, considering she wasn't having too much luck with the books. So she unwrapped a Pop-Secret, and stuck it in the microwave to cook. Only a few moments had passed before the phone buzzed again, "G-d these people are popular today." She muttered, lifting it once more. "Hello?"

The same breathing sounded on the other side, and she began to worry. "Who is this? Why do you keep calling?"

"Scared yet?" She heard a gruff voice chuckle manically.

Her heart rate sped up and she slammed the phone down on the receiver. It was Colt. It had to be him. Who else could it be? She wasn't safe here alone, that much she knew, but she didn't have a car to get to the hospital with. So she did the only thing she thought she could do. She called DeLuca.

"Hey, Alice. Heard you weren't feeling to hot. You okay?" He questioned.

"A-Andrew, is Amelia t-there?" Her chin quivered.

"She's in a surgery. Is everything okay?" Andrew was beginning to get worried.

"What about Owen?" A few tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Him too. Alice. What's wrong?"

"Andrew I think I need you to come over." She began to sob.

DeLuca's breath caught in his lungs at the sound of the girl crying and he couldn't help but feel his chest pang. "Okay. I'm coming right over, alright?"

"Okay." She whimpered, walking to the door and rechecking the locks.

"Okay." He hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket. With that, he ran down the hospital hall towards the interns locker room, where he hurriedly got dressed and grabbed for his keys. On the way back out he ran into Edwards, his resident. She eyed him.

"Where are you going, DeLuca?"

"I have an emergency." He said. "My...friend is sick. She needs me to come to her house."

"Uhuh. Your friend. If she's sick enough she needs a doctor she needs to come to the hospital." She said. "I need you for rounds."

He huffed. "Listen, I don't want to leave work, but she's upset. Something's wrong, and I need to go see her. I swear, I'll take up more hours to pay whatever I owe."

"Fine." Edwards let up. "Go."

"Thank you." He thanked her insincerely, and rushed out of the hospital.

* * *

The wait was nerve wracking for Alice, but she thanked the heavens when she heard a loud knock on the door. She peered into the peep hole, and took a gasp of relief when she saw DeLuca. Two unlocks later, and the door was shoved open.

"Alice what happened?" He asked softly, shutting the door behind him and locking it.

"I need to tell you something." She cried. "And I don't want you to think any less of me for it."

He bundled her small frame in his arms and she breathed out against his chest, her tears being absorbed by his t-shirt. "I'd never think poorly of you, Alice. You can tell me what's going on."

"My ex used to...beat me." She felt herself tremble just thinking about it. "And...violate me...and when I ran from him I wasn't expecting him to find me again but. But he has. And he's calling the house. He's calling the house now, and I'm scared, Andrew."

DeLuca felt as though the breath was just knocked out of his lungs. The small girl tucked neatly under his arms had been abused? It hadn't made sense. How could someone hurt her? Hurt such a sweet girl such as herself? "I'm here now." He comforted. 'I'm here, and I swear, Alice, I'm not going anywhere. I'll protect you. Understand?"

She nodded slowly. "I understand." Her voice was shaking.

He pulled her from his chest and cupped her damp cheeks, wiping way the steady stream of tears that ran down her cheeks. "We don't have to talk about it. We can just sit, we don't even have to talk at all. Whatever you need."

She nodded. "Just sit with me."

So they did. He held her between his legs on the couch, his arms wrapped around her securely, and his chin rested on her shoulder. Her lips pursed as she curled herself tightly into a ball. The silence was heavy and uncomfortable and she couldn't stand it. "You don't think I'm...weird...right?"

"How could I?" His breath tickled her neck, sending shivers up her spine. "It's not your fault what that bastard did to you, Alice. You're such an amazing, beautiful girl...I can't understand why anyone would ever want to hurt you."

She looked at him, their eyes meeting at once. The space between them small but they both felt like it was much too large. "Promise?" She mumbled.

"Promise." He mumbled back.

She rested her palm on his stubbled cheek and brought his face closer to her own. Her breath brushed his lips and they contemplated kissing for a moment before contemplation became action, and DeLuca softly rested his lips on hers. Their kisses were timed perfectly, like a dance. Their hands on one another face were soft, and he covered her hands with his, brushing her fingers lightly with his thumb. He kissed her cheek and down her jaw line, stopping once more with a peck on her lips and he pulled away. "I-I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She muttered, putting her fingers to her reddened lips. "I needed that. I needed you."

A smile appeared against his face and he pulled her close to him once more, showering her with soft kisses. Alice finally felt safe again on that couch, in DeLuca's arms.


	10. Chapter 10

Alice had found herself asleep on the couch, where Deluca sat next to her. All he wanted to do was protect her from the world, but he knew just how impossible that was. The door began to unlock, and he looked toward it expectantly. Owen and Amelia were behind it, so he stood quickly.

"What happened? I got your text." Amelia stated worriedly, placing her purse and keys on the table next to the door.

"Her ex was calling the house. Maybe making threats, I'm not sure. She was kinda...speechless." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, not wanting to tell Amelia that they were too busy with each others lips for him to get all the details from the girl.

"Right.' Amelia pursed her lips. "Leaving her home alone wont work anymore, Owen."

"We need to file a restraining order." Owen said. "That's the last thing we can do."

Sighing, Amelia walked toward Alice and wrapped a blanket around her, caressing her cheek with the back of her hand softly. "Why can't the dick just leave her alone? He's put her through enough, hasn't he?"

"Unfortunately I think that's why he's trying now. She's broken, Amelia. He needs to attack while she's already down." Said Owen, who was getting set up to cook dinner.

Andrew shifted on his feet awkwardly.

"You can go now, if you want." Amelia said. 'We're here now. She'll be okay."

He nodded, clearing his throat. 'Okay. Thanks. See you tomorrow.' And he quickly shuffled out of the house.

"He was acting a bit weird." Owen observed.

Amelia sat next to the sleeping girl, lifting her feet onto her lap. "He has a crush on her."

"No joke?" He lifted a brow.

"No joke. And she has a crush on him. It's kinda cute actually.' She smiled, rubbing Alice's blanketed leg. "I wish they'd just get over themselves and kiss already."

"If they already haven't." Owen said suggestively.

She shrugged. 'I wouldn't mind. He's good for her. She needs someone...stable. She needs stability."

"She has us." He said.

Amelia looked over her shoulder to make eye contact with her husband. "You don't want them to date."

"What?" He blushed a tinted pink. "Why would you say something like that?"

"Owen, it's like emanating from you. You don't want them together...are you getting all protective over her?" She smiled.

"No. She's an adult. She can make her own decisions." He muttered, beginning to cut up an onion.

Amelia giggled. "You feel the need to protect her, don't you? Don't be ashamed, Owen, that's sweet."

He grumbled something inaudible under his breath, and Amelia turned her attention back to Alice, who was beginning to stir awake.

"Rise and shine, sweet pea." Amelia smiled comfortingly.

Alice grumbled, rolling on her back, and looking at Amelia. "Where's Andrew?"

"He left. I'm surprised you called him."

She shrugged sheepishly. 'You guys were busy with surgeries today. He wasn't."

Amelia smiled slyly. "Right. Mhm."

Alice blushed, wrapping her arms around her face. "Whatever."

"Listen, Ally, we're gonna need to get a restraining order against this guy. You need to be safe." Amelia said tentatively.

Suddenly, Alice became still. "As if that's going to stop him from trying to do anything...he thinks he's bigger than the law, Mia. It wont work."

"He can think all he wants, but if he comes anywhere near you, he's going straight to jail." Owen said. "It needs to be done for your safety, Alice."

"I know." She mumbled. "What are you cooking?"

"Stir fry."

"Okay." Said she. 'I think I want to go get a shower before I eat."

"Okay.' Amelia patted her legs. 'Go ahead."

She sat up slowly, grabbed for her phone, and made her way towards her room. She grabbed some pajamas and her towel and after getting into the bathroom, she started the water. While waiting for it to warm up, she texted Deluca.

'Hey, thanks for coming over today...and for that other thing.'

He didn't hesitate to respond. 'No problem, I enjoyed it. Both of the things.'

Alice felt a smile reach her lips. She lifted her finger tips to brush across them, she already missed his lips on hers. 'Maybe we can do those things again?'

'I'd like that.'

Pursing her lips, she rested her phone on the sink and smiled to herself as she undressed and stepped into the steaming shower. She really did like Deluca, and she hoped he really did like her.


	11. Chapter 11

Alice had been wandering around the hospital, unbeknownst to Amelia or Owen. She wasn't supposed to wander off, but she'd gotten bored, and DeLuca kept being swept away by his residents. She found herself to be lost at one point or another, and had practically tried ever floor of the hospital. It wasn't until she'd hit the ninth floor, exited, and wandered off, that she passed out.

Alice knew the difference between being knocked out and having a seizure. The differences in what happened when she woke up. The difference between the headaches. And so when she woke up, she knew that she hadn't had a seizure. She'd been knocked out. The sharp pain in the back of her head vouched for it, the groggyness spoke for itself. It took her a few minutes to come to, and when she did, her heart began to palpatate nervously. Shackless dug into her ankles and wrists. The air smelled of iron, her blood, she believed. But she was so scared, so terrified, she didn't feel where it was coming from. She blinked rapidly. She'd been stripped of her clothing, her shirt and jeans and under garments in a pile in the corner of the dirty room. The floor was coated in a thick layer of dust and dirt, she could hear the chatterings of rats and some other type of rodents, sending chills up her spine. The basement she was in was cold, and her teeth chattered. Her toes and fingers were practically turning blue. She began to feel tears reach her eyes.

There were two clanks that echoed through the room, Alice sensed they were coming from the large metal door across from her. It was pushed open with force, but opened slowly due to the intense weight of it.

And there he was. There he stood. Evil grin and all. Colt.

Alice's tears spilled down her cheeks. "Why?"

His lips pursed into a tight line, and he shuffled closer to the girl, kicking up puffs of dust as he went along. He knelt down next to her, and grinned a wild grin. "No one diserespects me, Ally. You know that."

Alice couldn't see the object in his hand, nor did she want to. But he lifted his arm, and came down hard.

* * *

Amelia had gotten out of a tumor resection when she came down the hallway to find that the attendings lounge was empty. Concern was the first and only emotion she'd experienced. She began pacing down the hallway. "Alice?"

By the third time she'd yelled her name, she was frantic. "Alice!"

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Owen came up behind her, grabbing her shoulders and pulling her around softly.

"I can't find her." Her voice shook. "She's gone. I don't where she is."

Owen's mouth gaped open. "I'll call Bailey, make her give an announcement over the loud speaker. It's okay. Alright?"

Tears formed in the brunette's bright blue eyes. "I can't lose her again, Owen."

"I'm sure it's fine." He pulled his wife closer to him and held her tight. "I'm sure it's okay."

Minutes later, Bailey's voice boomed over the speakers. "Alice, you know who you are, if you're still in the building, get up to my office. _Now_."

And minutes later, there wasn't a soul who'd seen her arrive to her office. Alice was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

She'd woken up again, to her unfortuane. She was immediately hit by the sandpaper in her mouth, the only kind of feeling you get when you haven't had anything to drink in hours. Had it been hours? She was unsure. Her eyes were heavy, and it took strength to open them. The room was darker than it was originally, if that was possible. Her body ached, and she had a raging migraine. Spots littered her vision, and the room spun fast enough to mimic the speed of the spinning of the earth. She shut her eyes again. "Make it stop." She sputtered to the silence.

A clank, and a turn, and the door was open and it was all she could do to not cry out. She didn't want him to come back. She'd rather die down there than be tortured by the likes of him.

With a click, a lightbulb lit up the room, making her groan. The light hurt her already sensitive eyes. She tried to shift, but immediately regretted it when the shackled dug deeply into her skin. She gasped, trying to control the urge to cry.

"My angel." Colt grinned wickedly. "You're awake."

Alice winced. "I'm thirsty."

"I would be too. How long has it been since you've been asleep...?" He looked down at his watch. "Huh. Twenty hours?"

Alice bit on her bottom lip, the sour taste of blood hit her tongue and made her cringe. "Please, Colt."

"What's that?" He leaned closer, his stubbled, but clean, face was dangerously close to her own. "What did you say, baby?"

"Please." She mumbled. "Please."

He ran a palm over her cheek. It was soft, like she'd remembered, and it smelled like the same coconut lotion he'd worn since they were teens. She felt a rough calous run over her sore cheek and she swallowed. "Of course you can have a drink, angel. Daddy's gotta take care of his baby, right?"

She nodded, going back to her old routine of sitting pretty and listening to every word he'd spout. "Mhm."

He pulled a flask out of his pocket. "Don't worry, water, not alcohol. Promise." He rested it against her sensitive lips, and she sucked it down gratefully. He took it back. "Ah, ah, ah. Not too fast." He put it back in his pocket, and ran a thumb over her chin. "I missed you, Ally. Touching you. You touching me. The way your lips fit against mine...but you hurt me. You left me. You defied me..."

"I'm sorry, Colt, baby, I'm sorry." She sniffled. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I was sick, baby, I'm sick."

"My angel is sick?" He asked softly.

"I have epilepsy, Colt." She muttered. "That needs medication to control."

"Oh, sweetie, what did those doctors fill your head with?" He clicked his tongue. "I'm all the medicine you need, baby."

She lifted her eyes to the ceiling, praying this was a bad dream. Please let it be a bad dream.

"C'mon, baby. Don't be this way. Don't make me angry." His voice was rough, now.

She looked him in the eyes. "I'm sorry."

"That's alright, angel, but you did bad. You need to be punished. It hurts to see you hurting, baby, but how are you gonna learn?" He shrugged. "Maybe I'll come back later with some food. How does that sound?"

Alice nodded eagerly. "I'm hungry, Colt, so hungry. Anything."

"Okay." With a smile, he brought his lips down on hers. His knees straddled her, keeping her from wiggling, but the shackles did that all on their own. She gagged. She wasn't sure why. His taste was familiar, and it was pleasant. Like mint and a hint of something sweet, like honey. His tongue against hers was soft, and just right, but she gagged. Memories flooded her mind of the first time he'd defiled her, and she wanted to sob, but his touch would quickly turn violent if she wasn't careful.

Ride it out, Alice. Ride it out...

With a hand on her hip, he pulled back. "I missed that. Maybe we can be closer soon. I'm gonna go now, I'm quite tired myself. Breakfast is in a few hours...you stay here." He sat up, and with a laugh that came deep from his belly, he said, "Oh who am I kidding. Where are you gonna go?"

* * *

The police had been at the hospital for a few hours now, they'd blocked the exits, so no one could get in or out. It took an hour to scope out the entire hospital. There wasn't a sign of Alice. A few of the security cameras had been blocked, or the wires cut. All Colt's doing. No one knew where Alice was.

"My baby is out there, probably being tortured by some sadistic bastard." Amelia sobbed, pacing the hallway, running a hand through her already messed up hair. "She came here for me to protect her, and I let this happen, oh G-d, I let it happen."

"Ma'am, I know this is difficult-"

"You don't know that this is difficult." Amelia shouted. "I didn't keep her safe after every fucking foster home that abused her, I didn't keep her safe when she ran away from all of that to get here. I didn't fucking keep her safe, and now she's gone, and it's all my fucking fault, so until you know what I'm talking about? Shut the fuck up."

The female police officer coughed, she did indeed shut up.

"Amelia." Richard spoke softly.

She turned round. Her blue eyes now on fire.

"Calm down. This isn't helping her. Do we know what this ex boyfriend of hers was wanting?"

"Her back." She spat. "He wanted her back."

"Was he dangerous?" Was his next question.

"Of course he's fucking dangerous." She yelled angrily.

The room was silenced, but not by her shouts. By her phone. She looked down at it, expecting a page. It was a text. A text from an unknown number. When she opened it, it was a video. She swallowed hard, and opened it, turning up the volume.

The camera turned to reveal Colt, smiling softly. "Hey everyone watching. Don't bother tracking my phone, I've got a guy...I figured you'd want updates on our girl, Ally, huh? I'm not that evil, I know how much she loves you Amelia. But she's my girl, my angel, and she's gotta learn...you don't defy me..." He muttered. "I figured I'd give you a picture of her. She's okay, but I guess the word okay is pretty relative." He turned the camera, and Alice, completely knocked out, and chained the wall was the only thing they saw, and then the video cut short.

Everyone gasped. The phone dropped from Amelia's hand, and Amelia fell to the ground.


	13. Chapter 13

**Omg I just watched Ep. 2 of Season 14, and I'M ABSOLUTELY DYING. CAN ALL MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS NOT HAVE BRAIN CANCER ALL THE TIME, PLEASE AND THANKS?**

* * *

It was a nightmare. He was on top of her, shoving his hands on her, touching her in ways he never should be able to. She couldn't scream, couldn't get out. She was stuck under his grasp. It was a nightmare. But she woke up to the same nightmare. Light seeped in through the heavy metal door, and she swallowed. Her throat felt cracked and raw. She needed food, needed water, and she needed a bathroom. It took him two hours to open the door, and when he did, she was happy to see a plate of food in his hands.

"How's my angel doing today?" He asked happily, switching the light on.

"Hungry." She sputtered.

"Of course." He came to sit next to her. "Honey toast?"

It was her favorite breakfast. She hated he knew that. "Please."

He lifted a slice to her mouth, and she took it gratefully.

"If you're this well behaved, I might be able to take you upstairs." He said, his tone a happy one. "Will you be a good girl for me?"

She nodded. "Please. I...I need to pee."

He studied her face, and chewed on his lower lip. "Okay. Finish your food, and I'll unlock the shackles. No funny games, you hear me? I don't want to put you back in them."

"Of course, baby." She faked a smile. "Anything for you."

That pleased him greatly. A few bites of toast later, and he was using the key on the shackles. First her legs, then her wrists and she almost cried in relief. Her ankles and wrists were rubbed raw by the metal against her skin and it stung when they met air, but it felt so much better all at the same time. Colt hoisted her up. "Alright. Steady now, let's get you upstairs."

It was a struggle. Her legs felt like jelly, like they'd slip right beneath her. She had no energy to walk, and she just wanted a toilet. Once upstairs, Alice looked around to see what she was dealing with. It was a cottage, she believed. Turn to the left and there was a living room, a fire burned in the fireplace, and books littered the coffee table. Next to that was the kitchen. She hoped there were knives. He took her to the right, into what she assumed was his bedroom. The queen sized bed was nicely made in white sheets and a white comforter. The pillows fluffed. He turned her into the bathroom, and sat her down on the toilet. She looked around for windows, but it was just her luck to see there were none. He left the room, and she did her business. She tried to stand, her legs wobbled beneath her, but she made it to the sink. She gulped, looking in the mirror. Her raven black hair was matted and dirty, her cheek was black and blue, and her lip split. She cringed, touching her face lightly. She looked down at herself. She looked frail and thin, and quite frankly, sick.

The door opened again. Colt entered. "I thought maybe you'd want a bath."

She looked next to her. The large bathtub looked quite appealing. "Please?"

"Only because you asked so nicely." He grinned, and grabbed her by the waist, pressing a firm kiss on her lips. She tried hard not to grimace. "Afterwards, when you're clean, we can have some fun..."

* * *

"Amelia...Amelia...Amelia!"

Her head shot up to see Meredith in front of her. "You need to go home and sleep. Eat, shower. Do something. You've been here for two days."

"If he brings her back here, I need to be here for her." Amelia mumbled, hugging her knees to her chest. "She'll want me here."

"Amelia, why make yourself suffer like this? It wasn't your fault." She sat next to her sister-in-law, and took a deep breath. "I know it feels that way, but Alice doesn't blame you. You need to be okay when she gets back. She'll need you to be her rock. She'll need you to feel safe. You can't be like this. You can't look sickly, and haphazard. You have to be clean, put together, and I know it feels tough, but life is tough and she's having it tougher."

Amelia gave no response.

Meredith sighed, seeing she was getting nowhere.

Amelia's phone buzzed, and her heart pounded against her chest. With a gulp, she picked it up. Unknown number. A video. She clicked on it. Colt lifted the camera to his face, he in the bath behind Alice. "Hello, Amelia. I thought I'd check in. Alice and I are in the bath right now, my angel is so beautiful, isn't she?" He shifted the camera so she was looking into it.

Alice smiled. Amelia knew just how fake it was. "Hi, Mia. Colt's taking really good care of me. I got to come upstairs for the first time today...I think I'm gonna be okay here."

Amelia choked back a sob.

"That's my girl." Colt kissed her bruised cheek, and Alice winced. "I'll seeya, Amelia." The video ended.

"She's hurting." Amelia sobbed. "He's hurting her."

Meredith wrapped the younger brunette in her arms and Amelia cried mercilessly into her chest.


End file.
